LOVE, PAIN, AND THE WHOLE CRAZY THINGS

Hello Goodbye

Some part of my heart tell me the truth and my head just thinking “how to brings all the memories back?”

Good days just past away and I have to realise this is the moment of truth. Missing you is not my choice, but leaving you is something I have to do. Are you okay without me? 4 years together and now we’re just two people that never met before.

You know none of your scars can make me love you less.

30/12/17

TR

Mungkin emang gue diciptain gabisa ngelakuin apa-apa. Mau diapapun tetep nerima. Gue gatau gak abis pikir, kalo boleh ngulang gue gamau kuliah disini gue gamau punya temen-temen dengan kondisi ini. Terperangkap disebuah situasi yang membuat semua begitu tai.

Gue diambang batas sebuah kebencian. Saat gue mikir 1000 kali buat kenalan sm org baru krn gue ngerasa msh belong to you, dengan gampang lo melakukan sebaliknya. Ini bukan masalah impas-impasan, ini memang masalah sifat yang gak akan pernah bisa dirubah. Gue cuma menghabiskan waktu untuk melihat karma yang akan gue terima. Inget kata “time bomb” I’ll feel it sooon.

Gue pengen bunuh, diri gue sendiri.

The feeling between love and being loved is the different things. You says something, that for me is the end of our 2 years, you keep your ego and I keep mine.

 But something I have to tell, maybe you don’t need me cause you already have everything you have someone to depend on besides me. You have naufal someone that always beside you, kijung akbar someone that always support and be your place to tell a story, different with me I just have you, no people to share no people to stay beside me except you. then I think you don’t need me ko you know that, it isn’t you It’s me that always need you but I’m just disturb you with all my orders and restrictions. 

I’m just changing from force my ego until begging you to not left and you still not choose me. So what things that makes me have to stay? you have everything you need. I don’t really give you order just for me, thats for you. I don’t wanna see do bad or reckless, I don’t give a shit what people thinking who I am. Whoever you are my friends, best friend or lover you still someone that I really really want to care about and I don’t wanna lose you or see you left cause you know I only have you.

So that I’ve do for you then you still keep your ego It’s okay ito, nyoo not deserve to be chosen. I never think it will be end up like this.

You’re somewhere between the girl of my dreams and the girl of my nightmares and it’s not fair because I’m nothing but good to you and you’re nothing but wrong for me.

So how do I get back to the good times and how do I see you in a new light, Because the harder I try the less we feel right for each other. How do I get back to the good times?

then What am I trying for, what am I crying for, what am I dying for? If it ain’t you.